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Day One

 We can start over, whenever we want. It’s a wonderful opportunity that we have.  Taking it for granted will lead anyone down a dark path. I might not always be aware, what good I release in the world.  But I will try to savor the small moments. What else can I do to make it feel like there’s a meaning to all this madness? I don’t imagine, I’m the only one with self-doubt. In fact, I am painfully aware how it infects all of us,  at some point in our lives. I’ve gotten knocked down to size,  yet again. It hurts, more than I can describe. Maybe it is possible to get out on the other side better?  I sure hope I can do the impossible for the millionth time. That is why, this is Day One.
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My plea.

There is something inherently wonderful about life. It is right there, for your taking and you have the opportunity to shape it how you see fit. Life is also very precious and for the first time, in my life I believe, I see the world around me as a much more uplifting place. Sure, there are still awful things happening, as injustice, racism, war and discrimination. I however, have chosen to look at life in a different way at this point in my life. I do not claim to be an inventor of this, yet I think a lot of people today could benefit from seeing the words in "print", and reflect about their daily adventures on this wonderful planet of ours. It is far too easy to give up. Yes, I know this seems entirely contradictory because, existing without any hopes for the future seems much more "doable". Giving up and ceasing to exist would require you to take action, yet to me it is the ultimate betrayal of the people who hold you dear. Unless, you are an insufferable idi...
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Vindicate

When I told you not to call anymore, it was not a suggestion, it was an order. You seemed to forget all the horrors, that you inflicted on me. Too bad, that I don't forget, even though I have forgiven. Your face when I told you to go, was my vindication. It reaffirmed that I had changed, and my strength had taken hold. I don't think you expected, that I could finally fight back. The tears did not mean that you had won, they were a testament to, what I had forgiven and let go of. The anxious nights and the fear. The absolute paralyzing jealousy, when you once again lied to my face. I still do not understand, why you wanted to hurt me. All I ever did was love, a man that did not have a soul. You can't change a Devil, posing as an Angel. To this day, I struggle with the why's. Why you pushed me to the edge, why you acknowledged you were bad for me, and still kept pressuring for more. I guess, I learned the grea...
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