Ringgren

When I came home from Italy, I was driving in a terrible rain storm and yet the sun was shining through when it could. Suddenly I realized that there was a rainbow in front of me on the road. It was big and the colours were easy to see. I sat there for a second and thought, wow, life is really beautiful. And as I kept driving I sort of drove into or at least under the rainbow. In some way it felt like the rainbow was telling me that everything would be okay. That my life would be just fine. It was a great feeling. I still can't understand how far I've come some times. In my life and in my heart. I've grown on so many levels and as far as I can tell, my friends have noticed a change. It's a great change and I know that I'm happier than I ever have been. Something happened today that made me really dig deep into myself to see if I actually have changed. It was a hard thing for me. I hope no one else has to go through what I just did because it hurts like a motherf...

I think my family is one of the strongest reasons behind me wanting to have faith in myself and find the strength I know I have inside. We've been through a lot of things together and despite everything, for example teenage rebellion, we've come together stronger than ever. A while back my youngest brother was run over by a car while he was riding his motorcycle, and I remember that day pretty well, for the most part. I was with a friend and we had just finished making our dinner and my dad calls me up, him and my mom had been on a buisness trip and had gone to bed really early so I was surprised that they'd called. Basically the first thing he tells me is that my brother has been run over by a car, and all I could think of was to scream. So I did. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, my breath was stuck in my throat and I didn't register what he said for a couple of seconds. He then apologizes for scaring me and said that my brother was okay, as m...

I found this song today that showed me that a final goodbye can be the best thing that has ever happened to you. It happened to me, and I'm glad that I now realize what it did for the rest of my life. It opened up these doors that I never thought were possible, paths I've gone down that I didn't think I would ever tread upon. Meet people that appreciate me for who I am and what I bring to the table. A reconnection with my faith and in a roudabout way find my faith in myself. It's funny how you can find strength and support in unlikely places, and I feel like all these events are fate. That I'm meant to have gone through what I did and now that I'm out on the other side, I feel a million times lighter and happier. A friend told me that all these experiences are building blocks, ways for me to figure out what I will do with my life and what I am looking for. I continually stumble upon songs that perfectly describe my life, and I've always had what I like t...

Second update from the states trip. If I can pick a theme that describes this trip it would have to be acceptance. Acceptance of yourself and others. Knowing that you need to accept certain situations in life and you can't go through life without working for what you want. Nothing comes for free and even if your currency is kindness it still costs something to be nice. Time and effort are two valuable commodities and most don't take the time to give someone that needs it, the courtesy of kindness. Even if it is something as simple as telling them how nice they look that day or sharing a special moment with them because you know that they will appreciate your opinion or support. I'm the first to admit that I have been in a bad place where I didn't care about anyone, just wanted to shut everything out and be left alone. When somebody would interrupt me, I would blow up and be nasty to them. In the end it was horrible way to live my life. I became lonely, reclusive and...

There comes a time when you have to consider the choices in your life and if they are the right ones. Sometimes the tough decisions are the ones that will lead you to the right path and the true destination. It's not always something you will have fun choosing but you have to have faith that it's the right path. I'm at a crossroads, a time in my life where I need to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Choose a career, find a place that I can feel at home. Somewhere I can be myself. With this recent journey I've been on I'm almost certain of what I need to do. Almost ready to take the plunge and get ready for an adventure of a lifetime. Almost ready to do what is necessary, and yet I'm scared. Even though I know for a fact that the decision will give me peace of mind I also know for a fact that it's gonna hurt like hell. If nothing else, it'll make me feel alive. I walked through the streets of NYC this evening. What a feeling. The ...

Okay so first of all I'm really good right now but I was really really stressed about my entire trip to get to Salem, MA. Here you can read what exactly happened. I had to wake up at 4.30 am and get the last things together in my suitcase. My mom was home and wanted to send me off right so she drove me to the airport. The plane was supposed to leave at 6.25 am and we entered the airport about 30-45 minutes before the plane had to leave so we rushed up to the counter. Apparently because I was flying with Norwegian I had to go to the self-check in counter and get my own boarding pass and then afterwards go to the counter again to get my luggage checked in. After I did that, things went pretty smoothly. My mom brought me over to the gate and I had my bags checked, we said our goodbyes and I went up to my gate to get ready for the first part of my trip to the states. Turns out that there was something wrong with the planes electric things and the plane ended up being three and a half...

Listened to a song today, which I haven't listened to in a frightfully long time. Since it's one of my favorite songs I felt a sense of coming home when I rediscovered it. It is a song by Jon McLaughlin, called "Just give it time". It's about rediscovering yourself. What you like, what you don't like. What you are all about. Finding your innermost self, and letting it shine again. Because there comes a time where you need to stop worrying about the future, the next day or just the next few minutes. Let it all flow and let yourself go with it. The fact that you really should just trust your instincts and even though some plans might fall through and it makes you feel horrible, remember that it is not the last decision or plan you will make. You have so much life to give and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. It's a good thing to remember, that there is a point to life, and a reason for fighting for the good things. We are capable of good, even t...