"If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today."
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There is no pain that I can't endure any more.
I am stronger than the thoughts that try to scare me.
We can start over, whenever we want. It’s a wonderful opportunity that we have. Taking it for granted will lead anyone down a dark path. I might not always be aware, what good I release in the world. But I will try to savor the small moments. What else can I do to make it feel like there’s a meaning to all this madness? I don’t imagine, I’m the only one with self-doubt. In fact, I am painfully aware how it infects all of us, at some point in our lives. I’ve gotten knocked down to size, yet again. It hurts, more than I can describe. Maybe it is possible to get out on the other side better? I sure hope I can do the impossible for the millionth time. That is why, this is Day One.
In the midst of it all, there I am. Staring blankly out, at the mist covered garden. The poppies are burdened with morning dew, and the trees sway silently in the wind. I feel far away, yet I am as close to the wound as I can be. Beside me I feel a vacuum, an empty space where you used to be. The pain is ever as fresh. though my scar has healed. I do not think I shall ever, know the peace of rain again.
Maybe, there's a reason for all the pain. Maybe not? But what I know for sure, is that we can't take it all at once. I tried to be the good person, to give of myself, in the right way. Without hurting any one, or myself. I know I am not perfect, in any way. No one is. Really. But, I also find it hard to imagine a world where there is less pain.
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