Ringgren

Salty drops of pain, cascading down my face. Bitter memories, forcing them to fall. Wiping at them forcibly, an attempt at forgetting. It fails.

Sweeping mountains, breathtaking rivers. Flecks of golden fog, crowning the sleeping. Those rare moments, that make me aware, of how life can be, inherently beautiful.

Black smiles, dark hearts. They grin, and revel. I shake, cower alone. Oceans collide, waves swallow. Lying down, embracing empty.

The lily you got me, is situated perfectly, in my beloved mint green vase. You bought the flower, knowing I needed its strength. Giving me a sense of purpose. Its white petals, striking an elegant pose. A contrast to my mess. We embrace warmly, and you kiss my hair. Nothing has ever seemed simpler.

It might be wrong, it might even be immoral. However, the point is, we just can't help ourselves. We know it's wrong, and the less than moral part too. The point is, we don't care about anyone else. As strange as it seems, we collided and sparks flew. You would think that, the guilt would consume the flames. So here we sit, sharing a coke and grinning. While knowing our better halves, are worrying. Paying the bill, then walking me to my car. You place a last kiss on my cheek, and you say goodbye. I know it will be the last words, the last embrace and kiss, and I have come to terms. You will always be my summer fling.

The clothes still smelled like you, the scent that meant you had slept in them. A mix of unspoken dreams, and a warm embrace. I could feel myself leaning into it. Soaking in the hours in bed, that we had spent curled together. Entwined in a desperate prayer. I had this dream once, kids running between our legs. Laughter ringing through our house, but now all I have are clothes.

I didn't think I would feel this way. Didn't think I would be able to. Expecting to never trust, then throwing caution to the wind. Just something I can't control. It might be a disaster, but I would rather feel pain, than another day of nothing. So, here I am, trying from the beginning.