Ringgren

I fill my life with meaningless chatter to drown out the emptiness.

I'm not afraid of silence, but I've noticed a peculiar habit I've adopted. I have music running almost any time I fiddle around in my apartment. Be it making dinner, washing dishes, cleaning, surfing the web, while I shower. I don't know why, but I feel compelled to fill the silence whenever possible. It drives me nuts because, like I said, I don't fear silence, yet I drown it out. I started not too long ago, a habit of falling asleep with my tv running. It calmed me to hear voices around me. However, tonight I realized that I am in fact going nuts because of the constant noise in my life. Even though I love the music I play, it's not giving me that sense of comfort it used to. Instead I try to forget that I'm lonely. I don't mean it in the sense that I don't see people on a regular basis. I have a job, which I appreciate. Great colleagues. At the end of the day though, they go home to families. Friends who live close by, neighbors they've prob

I look up at the sky and only see darkness. The looming clouds roll over me, as I try to find my way. Problem about darkness, is that it makes it hard to navigate. Where to go in life, what path to take? The crossroads are many, the decisions equally so, but I don't want to make that choice. So I just wait. If I somehow manage, to circumvent my fear, maybe I'll be able, to just live my life. Reminiscing about simpler times, a childhood, my past, where everything seemed straight. Now, all I see is darkness.