Ringgren

His eyes twinkled as he walked across, the fresh snow that covered his garden. His haven of peace and tranquility. It was a transcendent feeling, as the snowflakes whirled around him. The cold turned his breath into crystals, and his hands started to shake. Yet he never wanted to leave, the white silence of this treasured place. His thoughts however wandered while strolling. To a time where the sun shined, and his laughter was not a lost memory. To a place where he twirled with another, in moments of embraced intimacy. His heart ached at the recollection. The winter was kinder to him, quieter and did not remember. It was like a blanket over the past, and a shield against the hurt. But somehow it was failing him. Images of her golden dress, that glistened in the never ending sunlight, captured his mind and his heart. He had fought so hard to forget, though it was all but a charade. When his guard was down. His heart was unprotected, and the light flooded

It doesn't matter, how many times, I tell myself to stop. The feelings keep, piling on and on. It's like a, never ending carousel. Of whirls and whisks, that take me on a ride. I just want it to stop. I feel fulfilled, and yet I don't. I feel satiated, and yet I crave. I feel whole and incomplete. Will it ever make sense? Will the pain ever ease? Will the mind ever quiet? Or will I forever, be tormented by my past? It's not my finest hour, or my darkest one. But it's a moment, marred by wishes, that never come true. I wish I could stop, the things I so crave. They are not mine to covet, or mine to wish for. And yet here I pray. I doubt anyone notices. I've become skilled, at hiding my aches. So until someone asks, I will continue to pretend.