Ringgren

I don't know why, but I feel so alone some times. However, yesterday, I was reminded that I am in no way alone. And that I have people rooting for me. Amazing and wonderful people. Who will go out of their way to make me a pot of important things to remember. I got one such pot yesterday. I basically knew what it was before she had fully given it to me. And I started sobbing immediately. I knew what it was, what it meant and the love was almost too much for me to handle. If that makes any sense. Crying because of pure love for someone, is incredible. It makes you feel invincible and like there is no amount of pain that could ever hurt you again. Tonight I opened and read some of the wonders that this pot had inside. I was having an anxiety attack that was coming and reading those words made it go away. Not immediately, but slowly. It also worked because, looking at it, opening it, imagining the care that went into making it makes me incredibly happy. She absolute...

All the anxiety disappears as quickly as it appeared. The twist around my head starts loosening its grip. The breathing starts to calm down, this is just life, it is not a fight or flight moment. The nervousness flows out through my steady breaths. The feeling that lingers is only peace. Knowing that God has my heart accounted for, and His peace is everlasting. He guides and protects me on my journey, and He lingers in every choice that I make. Good or bad, He does not condemn, for it is his eternal Grace that has put us here. To embrace and give light, that is my purpose. In whatever medium I choose to express it, there it will bring the most change. No matter what my past has been, there is a way to release the pain of it. It can help define us, but it shall not be our essence. We are more than our mistakes. And even more important, we are not only our victories. There is so much more than winners and losers. The glory is not the hunt for perfection, ...

There's a current in my life, dragging me along to better times. Friends who corner me, and make me thrive on happiness. The rays of the sun, play with the tint of my shades and I can't stop the grin from forming, on my nude lips as I laugh. It's all about you, and the way you look at me. The way you remind my heart, that happiness isn't a crime. Driving through the green forests, with my hands out the window. I only see possibilities, and an embrace waiting at the finish line.

New year, better me. Out with the people I can't count on. In with the souls, that would do anything for me. Prayers to those who have passed from our family, and love to those who remain. I'm not perfect, I'm not even close. But I live with the intention of being kind. I might not always achieve it, but I will never stop striving. Because if I can't find kindness in my heart, what is there to build on? Some days I feel misplaced in this world, like I don't belong, that my passion is alien. I pray every day, that I find my place. Maybe this year, it will finally be my turn.

It's the way the light falls, on my face when the sun sets. It's the way the rain falls, and the pain washes away. It's the way the peace fills, my entire soul. It is Your grace. It's the way I stumble, and how You pick me up. It's the way I call to You, and how You listen. It's the way I put my trust, in Your word. It is Your grace. Closer and closer I come, to the purest light of all. Guiding me with love, and securing my faith. For it is the greatest thing, a love that is without bounds. It is Your grace. In my darkest hours, Your light shines. For if it were not for You, my heart would be broken. Not just now, but eternally, yet here I am, whole. It is Your grace. Thankful I am, for the patience, and the never ending strength. For the wonder that is Your love, and the way it helps. I will spend my days, singing Your praise. It. Is. Your. Grace.

I don't trust myself with you. Your eyes give me a million reasons, to run as far away as I can. Yet your words try to win me over. I don't trust myself with you. If I gave in, you would consume me. Eat me raw and leave the remains. Since I never take the reigns. I don't trust myself with you. Because you speak of your past,  as if you are proud of the broken pieces. Your battle wounds, a prize. I don't trust myself with you. With one embrace, you could break my will. I would fall and splinter. I don't trust myself. Because in my heart, I love the way you used to be. Willing, to fall...for me.

The ties you make in life are important to your growth. However, if it is no longer inspiring positivity, make sure to untie yourself from that connection. It will only hold you back if you let it.

There is something inherently wonderful about life. It is right there, for your taking and you have the opportunity to shape it how you see fit. Life is also very precious and for the first time, in my life I believe, I see the world around me as a much more uplifting place. Sure, there are still awful things happening, as injustice, racism, war and discrimination. I however, have chosen to look at life in a different way at this point in my life. I do not claim to be an inventor of this, yet I think a lot of people today could benefit from seeing the words in "print", and reflect about their daily adventures on this wonderful planet of ours. It is far too easy to give up. Yes, I know this seems entirely contradictory because, existing without any hopes for the future seems much more "doable". Giving up and ceasing to exist would require you to take action, yet to me it is the ultimate betrayal of the people who hold you dear. Unless, you are an insufferable idi...

Friendship... We all need people in our lives to depend on and to keep us sane. Sometimes the journey towards friendship and the breakup of one, can leave you very disillusioned. Here's my recent experience. You become friends, hang out and talk about anything you feel like. Because you have THAT kind of friendship. You share many of life's ups and downs. You go on vacations together. You support each other through breakups and good times. Understanding that not everything can be amazing and wonderful. You have issues once in a while, as with most close knit relationships, but figure it out in the end. So, when the friendship turns sour, without you realizing it, how do you mourn it when you accept that it's over? My feelings are hurt, I'm saddened by the disrespect I've been shown. Even if the friendship isn't what it was, it surprises me that many many years of companionship is downsized to a four or five sentence text. When you've explained to that person...

Sometimes I find these little amazing statements around the interwebz and I cannot help but think...these moments have to mean something. Therefore, I want to share with you a piece of truth I stumbled across today. "S ometimes you are the drop that overflows the glass, but it doesn't mean that you filled the entire glass." Now, I want you to really think about this one. What it means. How it possibly could have affected your life in some way. Have you been the last drop for someone else? Have you felt hatred towards someone that did an indiscretion towards you, but they really did not deserve your anger, because your glass had already been at the brink of overflowing? I really feel it's a powerful sentence. On both sides of the fence. If a person hurts your feelings, I think it would be a great idea for everyone, that they ponder that anger before releasing it. Asking themselves some crucial questions. Am I justified? What will happen if I tell that person h...

Sitting there, she knew not what her fate had called her to do. She could feel it though, stirring within her. This ache, that felt like it would never subside or diminish. An ache that burned in her very core, almost convulsing within her with frustration. It was an ache for something that she did not yet understand. Who knew when she would, or if she would? All she DID know, was that it was there. It would spring up without warning and it would hurt. So much so, that tears would spring from her eyes without permission. Trickling down her reddened cheeks mercilessly. Tearing her heart into a million pieces. It was there, it was relentless and yet she knew that it was necessary. To force her. There was something she had to do - she wasn't ready for it - but a human heart can only take so much sadness before it starts to question the reason for its existence. When will the laughter return? When will the unencumbered joy return and splash its way through the chambers of your...

--- Did a flash writing exercise with a friend, about a subject we've both dealt with. Essentially we took 10 minutes on a clock and wrote about "anxiety". I wanted to share mine. --- Imagine a clamp on your head, tightening with every breath that you take. The more you walk around, the worse it gets. You try to calm your breathing and think of nice things, but every image behind your closed eyelids is always the same. You freak out because your world becomes smaller. The path on which you walk becomes narrower. Your stomach churns as you try to understand what is causing this in you. Was it something someone said? Did you step on someone today that made them feel lesser than themselves? Why do you cower in front of everyone so that you cannot shine like the beacon you are? Why don’t you trust yourself? You know you have stuff to do? A life to live and celebrate. Why don’t you go do it? Why do you stay here and hide in the darkness, behind your computer screen whe...

In the quest for love, I believe that kindness is the biggest gift you can present to anyone. If for nothing else, just to see that smile reach across their features and it fills you with a sense of calm and gratitude. There is no reason not to be kind, because we have the capacity to impact everyone we come across in a positive way. Be it with courtesy towards a woman who is struggling with her groceries and you help her carry them or a child longing to belong. I believe that cruel actions are the easiest in the world. It takes a very small person with no sense of compassion to inflict pain on someone else. Every single day I am breathing, I see kids upon kids terrify each other. For whatever reason, we have an abundance of kids who grow up to be afraid of the world around them. I know that the many terrible tales of suicide we hear in the media, are just a fraction of what really goes on out in the world. From my own experience, I know that such a thing did not seem so far fetc...

I've had a great day today. Visited my friend Kristine and we just ate great food, talked and watched great movies and some not so great. I love my friends more than anything. Especially the ones you can just be yourself with, without question. Those are the best. I don't know much else to say, than this experiment has taught me that I have amazing people in my life. In far away places and near to me. I think that's one of the meanings of life. Having friends that will be there for you when you need them. Friends who love you. I am blessed in that way, yet sometimes I forget it. Not on purpose, but I'm going to try to be better at that. Tip of the day: Whatever you do, don't watch "The Woman". The most horrendous and screwed up movie I've ever seen. Coming from someone that's watched "Human Centipede". Love + Blessings