The disillusioned

Friendship... We all need people in our lives to depend on and to keep us sane. Sometimes the journey towards friendship and the breakup of one, can leave you very disillusioned. Here's my recent experience.

You become friends, hang out and talk about anything you feel like. Because you have THAT kind of friendship. You share many of life's ups and downs. You go on vacations together. You support each other through breakups and good times. Understanding that not everything can be amazing and wonderful. You have issues once in a while, as with most close knit relationships, but figure it out in the end.

So, when the friendship turns sour, without you realizing it, how do you mourn it when you accept that it's over?

My feelings are hurt, I'm saddened by the disrespect I've been shown. Even if the friendship isn't what it was, it surprises me that many many years of companionship is downsized to a four or five sentence text. When you've explained to that person, something truly personal that you're struggling with. I wonder how I will react to seeing this person again, if that ever happens. Because in my heart, the friendship is over. I feel like a fool to rejoice for someone like I've done recently, when my troubles are met with incredible thoughtlessness. I don't need people like that in my life. Someone who will only feel equal to me if my life is going in a bad direction.

I have mourned what once was, and I will be stronger for it. I will guard my heart more closely in the future and not let just about anyone in to my life. Such is the damage when you lose a long term friend. I will accept it as a journey I have to live through. So be it.

/Ringgren

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