Stressed

Well, the podcast is teasing me a little bit so I'm holding off on that for the time being.

I've been inquiring a friend of mine, about moving to Los Angeles, and he seems onboard to help me with making that a reality. I can't really express how much I want that. I've been wanting to move to Los Angeles for a long time, and now that I'm almost done with my masters I can finally see this coming to fruition (love that word by the way, how come the english language has so many awesome words?) Well, anywho I'm currently looking for employment over there and it's a real test of patience I must say. And with my masters it's really hard to figure out what to do, and what to apply for. Sigh.

In other news, I'm not in a Christmas mood at all. Actually I'm really in an unhappy Christmas mood. It's like, everything in my world is pressing on the edge and trying to get my attention and I feel so uncoordinated, missing my family, writing on my master thesis and just not having anything resembling a social life while doing all these things. I have so many wishes for myself and so many things I really want to accomplish, yet it feels like I have no time to do it in. I might just be feeling pressured right now, and tomorrow I will feel fine, with family, good food and presents. But I'm soooo tired right now...

Also, I told my parents how I've reconnected with my faith and my dad who's an atheist said that he was really happy for me, and that I should do whatever I feel. My mom was also really supportive, she's Christian as well. I don't know why, but I felt really weird telling them this. Because ever since my Grandfather died, I had been really angry with God. The worst thing was that I had just completely lost faith in myself. Told myself that I was never going to believe in God again, but I just realized that I do believe in God. And I always have. I just dawned on me, because how else would I have had the strength to do the things I've accomplished so far. Getting my Bachelors' Degree, and now my Masters'. Having a great group of friends, and I've overcome most of my insecurities that I got from when I was bullied. I feel accomplished in a lot of ways, but there is still much to be experienced in my life. I can't wait to experience those things.

I hope that anyone who's ever tried being subjected to bullying, that they realize how beautiful they are and that no matter what anyone says, YOU are an amazing person and you can accomplish anything you set your eyes on. Just believe in yourself, when no-one else does. You are the only obstacle in your life. Just get out there and be happy. It can't hurt you. It's only life.

Love + Blessings

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